Phoebe, the moonbeam.
That’s how I see Phoebe, part because her mother used this word when we were talking about this doll. Somehow I didn’t write it down, but whenever I sat down to work on Erin’s doll I always thought of moonbeams, of light, of the dusty corners on a windowsill that you just can’t clean but you can witness up close, whenever you sit up there to dream.
It’s like there are corners, in your own home, that only become available when you change your perspective and let life talk to you. I find doll making to be the same, especially with custom dolls.
There is something in Phoebe and in Erin that is pure magic. One is stuffed with wool, the other one with love. I think they will both get along spectacularly.
I remember how a few years ago, when I had the pleasure to send Tilly to her home, after a few months she talked to me about her feelings in regards to dolls. Erin was, so to speak, introduced to these lovely dolls by the hands of a crazy friend of hers. We both love her.
I felt so connected to her insecurity of accepting she liked dolls, that she loved them in fact. That she played with them, and set them up.
When I started making dolls I always thought: “they are for children, not for me”. Month after month, maybe healing happened, maybe they took over me, maybe the materials and the creative energies worked in me, because I realized the dolls were entirely for me. I was feeding a part of me I never knew existed. My inner child? the one that got lost along the way? My spirit? My soul? my creative being? are they all one and the same?.
I love seeing even the most “not-doll-prone” personalities soften after having a few dolls around them. I have mentioned this before, dolls make us soft. Erin and I agreed on that very much so. We don’t need more hardened people in this world, but people attuned to their playful nature, to their kind self.
I have found that all the custom dolls I started since last August, have been made for the greatest doll lovers. Each and every one of them happened to find these dolls through someone else and never looked back.
Not only that, they are people I know, not in a “shake hands” kind of way, but I have had them with me for several years now. I feel their energy, I more or less talk to them often, I know of their families and a bit of their life story. They are now part of me, only because I make dolls.
My world has become enriched, nutrient dense in my creative life, because I accepted the responsibility of birthing these wool children. And mainly because I listen: to what they say to me, the dolls and the people.
Phoebe is meant to live a life surrounded by great peeps. True, honest, loving people. In return she will give them many presents: a quiet smile that will be there when work gets hard, a memory of beach combing for glass in Ireland…a soft embrace when you need to hold on to something sweet and jolly.
Her long hair will entice motherly fingers for braids and flower crowns. Phoebe is so full of stories, but she is saving them all up for her Mom.
She knows that she will sit atop a nice shelf in the studio, and that she will share cuddles from time to time with other lucky dolls.
She knows she will be danced with, brought up to the beach, and that over many years she will become more soft, a bit more matted, maybe a bit roughed up. But that is ok, because Erin and I know and appreciate that using something is its greatest satisfaction.
She loves to serve others by capturing fleeting moments, I live to serve others by giving them toys to play with. We are both trying to find calm and sense of purpose, and the dolls connect us. If that is not magic, I don’t know what.
I hope this doll cures all anxiety in life. I hope she allows you to see yourself again in her, to lose sense of time and be playful, kind to yourself and goofy. To let others see you. I hope she inspires you to keep twisting words between your fingers, and I hope that her hair and smile shines bright under all that light you are always chasing. It has been an absolute pleasure to create her for you, every moment prolonged as much as possible (sorry not sorry). Quietly she found her way to us and she will be with you now. She comes with a gift to you, but you will have to wait to open the box to see it. Much love my dear, forever grateful.
Phoebe is a 17" custom figlette, made with cotton skin and stuffed very firmly with wool. Her facial features have been needle-felted to give her depth and expression, and her eyes embroidered. The rosy cheeks are blush accomplished with red beeswax. Phoebe's hair is made of long suri alpaca locks, sewn into wefts and then hand-sewn to a wool cap. She wears several items of clothing, left to be revealed by her mom when she opens her box. Phoebe is a one of a kind doll, created for an adult but very safe for play. She is meant to be handled and talked to. Safe travels Phoebe!