Well, well, well. Look who decided to play with her camera timer today. With no makeup. And no decent hair. And two pairs of rugamuffins, one pair made of wool and cotton, the other pair much more sophisticated. All of them made by me!!
I am always holding a camera, and it is hard to have my photo taken. I used to love being in front of a camera, but somehow with age and children, and never having enough time to even brush my teeth, that kinda fell by the wayside. Sadly, I have looked through my photos and perhaps there are three of me in about two years. That is a bit too much. So I decided to grab some courage and play with it. I feel liberated!
This is the first picture of me holding my dolls. So many have passed through my hands, I have knit and crochet and sewn and created, and not one of "us" together.
I feel really thankful for the dolls I create. They have allowed me to exercise my creativity, they have given me hope that I am not a lost human amidst consummerism, they have given me confidence in my intelligence and above all, they have given me trust in myself. I used to be very insecure. I never did anything with my hands and never thought I would ever do. Having children changed that for me and with the enormeous arousal of creative energy came an ever increasing need to create. Somehow that translated into dollmaking. I think you can see, through the work of my hands, that I LOVE what I do.
And these two silly girls, playing with me along the way, sharing their insights into the many shades of purple, being patient with me when I am tired from going to bed too late at night, are my constant inspiration and the little ones that started it all. If it wasnt for them I wouldnt be making dolls. Of that I am certain. Perhaps crafting would have found me, somehow somewhere, but I would more likely be sewing bags or doing something else.
And finally, after three long and hard years of trying to find my voice, and my style, and honing my skills and my approach, I think I have made it. Today, with these two little dolls, I call myself a dollmaker. And it feels so good, to be one, to have an aim, and a path ahead of oneself. I wouldnt say it's my "calling", but it definitely feels like it.
Thanks for sharing the road with me.